


Tadpole

by sincerelymendacious



Category: Psychonauts (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Hero Complex, Implications of Depression, Light-Hearted Teasing, Parent-child relationships, Pre-Teen Angst, Reconcilation, Sibling Bonding, Snakes, Toads, apolgies, implications of parental issues, mentions of a crush, older/younger brother, sibling relationships, tw: natural animal death (no humans involved), tw: physical fighting (no serious injuries or bloodshed), tw: sibling agression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29300745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincerelymendacious/pseuds/sincerelymendacious
Summary: Raz wants to show Dion something weird he found in the forest. Dion learns that his brother has strange ideas about how the natural world works.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to pinkygrocket for the helpful edits! Appreciate it as always!

Dion had been in the middle of a brooding session when his younger brother had come rushing up to him. 

“Dion!” Raz yelled, his feet kicking up dust as he ran. “Dion! You gotta come quick!” He leaped over a puddle and ducked underneath a tent pole carried by two carnies. “You gotta see!” 

Dion grit his teeth and looked away, grimacing at the piercing shriek of his brother’s voice. A wave of heat within him rose up and grew hotter the nearer his brother got to him. He kept his back plastered against the caravan. 

Raz soon skittered to a halt in front of him, his eyes wide and a slight flush across his cheeks. “Dion!” he shouted again, not at all winded despite his exertion. “You need to see this thing!” 

Dion crossed his arms over his chest, keeping his gaze on a patch of grass sticking up out of the ground. He ignored Raz, hoping that his younger brother would get bored and go away. It was a strategy that only sometimes worked, but there were few other ways to deal with annoying younger siblings. Other methods- such as telling Raz to get lost- almost always ended with Dion getting scolded by their mom. 

It soon became clear that his plan had no chance of succeeding. Raz was too worked up. He began yelling louder when Dion pretended that he couldn’t hear him. When that did not produce the desired result, he reached up and grabbed Dion by the elbow. “Hey!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. “Dion! I know you can hear me!” He yanked hard on Dion’s arm, pulling at the fabric of his old, thin shirt. “You gotta come see this thing! It’s freaky!”

Dion’s cheeks heated up with anger and embarrassment. He glanced around to see if anyone was watching him get harassed by his little brother. Nobody was, but that didn’t make him any less agitated.

“Knock it off!” he snapped, disappointed by how whiny he sounded. He snatched his arm away and made an effort to deepen his voice when he next spoke. “Can’t you see I’m busy?” 

“Busy doing nothing,” Raz replied without missing a beat. “Come on, I wanna show you this thing I found.” He pointed towards the edge of the fairgrounds, where a line of tall trees stood. “It’s so messed up.” 

Dion rolled his eyes. There was no way that whatever ‘messed up’ thing Raz wanted to show him could be that big of a deal. Raz was only seven, which, in Dion’s twelve-year-old mind, pretty much made him a baby. “I don’t care,” he said, glaring down at his brother. “I got better things to do than look at whatever dumb thing you want to show me.” 

Raz thrust his chin up, eyes narrowed. “You do not,” he said, jabbing an accusatory finger up at him. “You’re just standing there doing nothing.” 

“I’m not just standing around!” Dion said as he dodged Raz’s grasping little hands. “I’m thinking. About a lot of things.” He poked Raz on top of his head. “Not that you would know anything about that.” His head had been full of thoughts and observations about the world and the people who lived in it. He believed these to be deep thoughts worthy of at least thirty minutes of contemplation every day. At the time of his brother’s interruption, he had been attempting to unravel the mystery of the Cotton Candy Girl. How could someone with a snub nose, gap teeth, and bleached hair be so...bewitching? He would never figure it out if Raz had his way. “Go show Frazie or Gabi,” he said, turning away. “I’m not interested.” 

“I don’t have time to find anyone else,” Raz said, pouting. “You’re the one that’s here!” He began tugging at the hem of Dion’s shirt. “Come on, we gotta go now before it gets away!” 

Dion had been about to push Raz away when, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted her. The Cotton Candy Girl stood out against the crowd of workers and animals, lazily swinging her arms by her sides as she came down the path. Towards him and Raz he realized, his face growing warm and his mouth dropping open. His surroundings fell away as his focus zeroed in on her. The sun glinted off of her earrings and her hair, brightening even the dark brown shade at the roots. She chewed mint gum; this Dion knew from the perfect green bubblegum bubbles she blew as she walked. The day was hot, so she wore tan shorts and a lime green t-shirt that was way lighter than the bra she wore underneath. 

That last observation triggered a flight response within him. “O-okay!” he stammered out, his voice cracking. “I’ll go with you!” He dared a look at the Cotton Candy Girl and was at once overwhelmed. “Let’s go, uh, see this thing!” 

Raz ceased his tugging and looked up at Dion with a mix of surprise and suspicion. “What, really?” he said, not trusting Dion’s sudden willingness to cooperate. “No joke? You’ll come with?” 

“That’s what I said!” Dion said, desperate to make his escape. Oh God, what if she saw him with Raz? He was certain that she would think he was super lame if she caught him within a five-foot radius of a child. “Come on!” He grabbed Raz’s hand and started pulling him towards the treeline. “Show me this stupid thing already!” 

“It’s not stupid!” Raz said, twisting out of Dion’s grasp. “And you’re going the wrong way!” 

* * *

  
The ‘thing’ Raz was so eager to show him was on the southern edge of the tree line, not far from the entrance to the fairgrounds. As they approached, Dion noticed a change come over his brother’s demeanor. His steps became slower and his hand tightened around Dion’s. “It’s...um, right there,” he said, pointing at a large tree. He looked up at Dion, biting his bottom lip. “It’s really weird,” he warned, “and kinda scary. Are you sure you wanna see it?” 

Dion scoffed. “You already dragged me all the way over here,” he said, stomping forward ahead of Raz. “I might as well see it.” 

To Raz’s credit, the ‘thing’ was disturbing enough to make Dion wince when he first saw it. Sat between the roots of the tree was a little brown toad with its lower half trapped in the jaws of a small snake. The toad’s beady black eyes retained a reptilian blankness, showing neither fear nor pain. Its distress was evident in how it clawed its free limbs forward in a desperate scramble to escape the snake. The effort came to nothing- the snake’s jaws were clamped too tight around the toad’s body. The snake’s tail whipped back and forth as it worked on swallowing the toad, leaving a half-circle trail in the dirt. It reminded Dion of the whip the circus’ old animal trainer used to crack at the elephants. 

“You see that, Dion?” Raz asked, pointing down at the snake and its helpless victim. “I told you it was messed up.” 

“Y-yeah,” Dion said, too unnerved to pretend to be tough and unaffected. He swallowed, his stomach twisting in discomfort. “You were right about that, bro.” 

It seemed cruel to stand there and gawk at the toad’s final, frightening moments of life. But there was nothing they could do about it. This was just nature playing out in the way it was supposed to. Cruel, yes, but that was how life was sometimes. _It would have been easier for them both if the snake had swallowed it head first,_ Dion thought as he watched the pitiful display. _At least it would have been over faster for the toad._

It would be best to get Raz out of here and leave the snake to it. Something this gruesome was sure to give a little kid nightmares. “Alright, Raz,” he said, laying a hand on his shoulder. “We’ve seen enough. Let’s get out of here.” 

“Can we take it with us?” Raz asked, a hopeful glint in his green eyes. 

“What?” Dion blinked in confusion. “Take what with us?” 

“That tadpole,” Raz answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“What tadpole?” Dion said, putting his hands on his hips. “Raz, what are you talking about?” 

“That!” Raz exclaimed, jabbing his finger at the snake. “You know, the thing you were looking at three seconds ago?” 

“That’s not a tadpole,” Dion said. He rolled his eyes, wondering where Raz had gotten such a silly idea. _From all those comics he reads, I bet._ “C’mon,” he said, grabbing Raz’s arm, “we need to head back. Dad’s probably looking for us.” 

Raz twisted out of Dion’s grasp. “It is a tadpole,” he insisted. 

“Tadpoles don’t get that big, dummy,” Dion argued, his patience growing thinner than thread. “Now let’s go-” 

“It’s a mutant tadpole,” Raz said, “you big dummy.” He went and knelt by the two creatures. The snake and toad continued their struggle, oblivious to the human child in their midst. 

“Raz, get away from there!” Dion said, alarmed despite neither creature posing any threat to Raz’s safety. For some reason, Dion did not want his brother so close to the violent scene. “Come back here!”

“Look,” Raz said, pointing to the toad. “This part turned out okay.” His finger began to drift down the snake’s body. “But here is where it all went wrong. He never grew back legs. His tail just got bigger.” His voice began to tighten and his eyes had a wet sheen to them. “I don’t know why this happened. Maybe there was toxic waste in the pond he was born in?” He looked to Dion for an answer but did not give him long enough to respond before continuing. “He’s really scared right now. And in a lot of pain.” He sniffed and rubbed his hand over his nose. “He doesn’t know if he’s going to live. He can barely move.” 

_Oh God, is he going to start crying?_ Dion shifted from foot to foot, unsure of what to say. _Where’s all this coming from? It’s just a toad._

“But we could save him if we took him with us,” Raz said, hopeful energy coming into his voice. “We could take him back to the caravan. He could work in the freak show, we already have animals there! And he could eat those flies that Mom’s always complaining about!” He gave Dion a pleading look. “Dad would let us, I know it!” 

Everything that had come out of Raz’s mouth was utter nonsense. The tug of sympathy Dion felt towards his little brother prevented him from pointing that out. “Raz, that’s not a tadpole,” Dion said with uncharacteristic gentleness. “It’s a snake eating a toad.” 

Raz’s face went slack with disbelief. “What?” he said, head swiveling to the snake and toad. “No way!” 

“Yes way. Look behind the toad,” Dion said. “You can see the snake’s eyes.” He took a closer look at the scene himself and noticed that the two creatures were almost the same shade of brown. _Okay, I can see how you might think this was one thing if you weren’t looking at it that hard. But I don’t know why you’d immediately assume it was some sort of mutant after watching it for a while._

As Dion was thinking, Raz was leaning forward, placing his hands on the tree trunk to steady himself. His eyes widened when he realized that Dion had spoken the truth. “Oh shit!”

“Hey! You can’t say that!” Dion said, outraged that his younger brother had begun swearing a younger age than he had. 

Raz ignored him. He reached his arm out, a look of intense concentration crossing his features. The snake began to levitate an inch over the ground a second later. It shook in midair, as though in a tenuous hold. 

“Oh shit.” Dion rushed forward and shook Raz hard enough to break his psychic hold. “What the hell are you doing?” he snapped. “Don’t pick them up!” 

“He needs help!” Raz yelled, pushing Dion away. “The snake’s gonna eat him!” 

“So what?” Dion moved to stand in front of Raz, blocking his view. That didn’t deter Raz from making another attempt. He extended his arm out, the strain of using his psychic powers clear in the way he ground his teeth. “Raz, stop it!” Dion said, clamping his hand over Raz’s wrist. 

“Let me go!” Raz began to squirm, twisting his wrist to break Dion’s hold. When that didn’t work he used his other hand to pry Dion’s fingers off of him one by one. “There’s still time!” he cried as he pulled at Dion’s index finger. “I can still save him!” 

Raz sounded like he would burst into tears at any second. It was tempting to give in and allow Raz to do what he wanted. But Dion knew that there was no saving that stupid toad at this point. Its back legs had to be mangled by now. Seeing the toad continue to suffer after he had tried so hard to rescue it would only make Raz more upset. “No Raz, you can’t,” Dion said, trying to soften his tone. He didn’t think he did a very good job. “It’s too late for the toad. Come on.” He forced Raz to his feet; a task that took a herculean effort on his part. Only years of dedicated strength training had made working with fifty pounds of squirming seven-year-old possible. “Let’s get out of here, alright?” He began to pull Raz away from the tree, his grip on his brother’s skinny wrist tightening. “We can go mess with the elephants when we get back, okay?” 

Raz dug his heels into the dirt, slowing Dion’s march forward. He tugged Dion’s arm in the opposite direction of where they were heading, an action that threatened to pull Dion’s arm out of its socket. They only made it a few steps away before Dion whirled on his younger brother. “Would you cut that out!” he snarled, face hot with anger. “There’s nothing you can do! The toad’s dead, dude!” 

“No, he’s not!” The shout carried up past the treetops and into the sky. Dion knew that people nearby would have heard it, but that was a secondary worry. His main concern was the pin-pricks of tears gathering at the corners of Raz’s eyes. The spread of angry red blooming over his cheeks. His mouth, trembling like it was trying to hold something battering at it back. Much as they often annoyed him, it was hard for Dion to see any of his siblings so upset. He felt a strong need to comfort his brother in this moment; to tell him that everything would be okay. “Aw come on, Raz,” he said, “don’t...don’t be…” He trailed off, his mind failing to come up with anything helpful. 

His sympathy evaporated the second Raz’s foot made contact with his shin. It had not been a hard kick, but it had hit Dion in the most sensitive part of his leg. “Ah!” Dion yelped, losing his grip on Raz. He lifted the injured foot up and cradled it, balancing on his other leg. “You fucker!” 

Raz paused and looked back at Dion. Shock widened his eyes and dropped his mouth open, his distress pushed aside. “You said a swear,” he said, more impressed than offended. 

Dion had not meant to do so. The sudden assault on his shin had prompted the never-before-used expletive to fly from his mouth. But it was out, and there was nothing he could do to take it back. He did use the opportunity his brother’s surprise had provided him with. A single lunge gaped the distance between them, and Raz was soon in his grasp once more. 

From there, a struggle ensued. Dion had both of his hands on Raz now, which reduced the smaller boy’s ability to maneuver. That didn’t stop Raz from twisting and turning as much as he was able. He used his fists to beat at Dion’s chest while his feet made a futile attempt to move forward. This proved to be a mistake on his part, he stumbled on a piece of unknown forest debris. He tripped and fell, which brought Dion down along with him. Raz ended up trapped underneath Dion’s taller, stronger body, his chances of a successful escape falling to zero. 

Still, Raz refused to surrender. He put any part of his body that could still move to work. His elbows drove upward into Dion’s stomach, and the heels of his feet found their way onto Dion’s already abused shins. He even made an attempt to bite Dion’s arm, though he missed and ended up eating dirt instead. Demands for release were made throughout the assault, alongside grunts that got more ragged as the fight dragged on. 

Dion didn’t feel the pain resulting from the many impacts on his person. He was too focused on keeping Raz pinned to the ground. He did his best to keep a firm grip on Raz’s wrists and dodged what blows he could. Raz was strong, quick, and convinced he was right, which motivated him to keep up the fight. But Dion had the advantage of height and weight, in addition to being at an age where pride is easier to wound. The kick to his shin had also been a blow to his ego. For him, this battle was not about some dumb, soon-to-be-dead toad. It was about reasserting his dominance as the older brother. 

  
  


The fight went on for a long minute without either party giving any ground. Both brothers were so into it that neither one noticed that shadow that had fallen over them until it spoke. 

“Stop that right now, both of you!” it ordered in a tone sharp enough to puncture steel. 

Dion recognized who the voice belonged to and was off his brother in an instant. He rolled onto his back and hopped to his feet in one fluid movement. Dad glared down at them from under the heavy line of his brow. “What’s going on here?” Dad demanded to know, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why were you two fighting?” 

“Uh.” Dion failed to come up with an answer to the question. It all seemed so stupid now that he had to explain himself. He could already feel the weight of Dad’s disapproval on him and he feared that it would crush him once the reason for the fight came out. 

Raz felt no such shame. Without Dion there to restrain him he was free to run back and rescue the toad. He would have done it too, had Dad not snatched him up the second he got up. It was almost like Dad had known what Raz had been planning to do before he did it. “Don’t you go anywhere,” he said as he placed his strong hands onto Raz’s shoulders. “I want an explanation. Now.” 

“The toad!” Raz blurted out. He looked back at the tree, then up at Dad. His eyes were wild with desperation and his dirty face only made him appear more distraught. “I have to save him!” 

Dad’s flinty expression gave way to confusion. He looked to Dion for clarification. Dion shrugged and thumbed over at the tree. “There’s a snake eating a toad over there. He wants to stop it.” 

Dad looked at the tree, his brows coming together. Dion couldn’t tell if he could see the two creatures. At this distance, they blended into the environment. “That doesn’t explain how you two ended up fighting,” he said after a few seconds. 

“Well, I was trying to stop him from messing around with the snake,” Dion said, the need to justify his actions propelling hasty words out of his mouth. “Because the toad was already-” he flapped his hand in a gesture too vague to convey any meaning- “You know. A goner.”

“And you tried to do that by pushing your brother into the dirt?” Dad asked. 

Anger was absent from Dad’s tone, but the disappointment was enough to redden Dion’s face. “He kicked me!” Dion cried out, trying to shift the blame. The pitch of his voice went up, making him sound and feel like a whiny child. 

“You started it!” Raz fired back. He tried to move towards Dion but Dad kept him in place. “You wouldn’t even let me try to save that toad.” His shoulders trembled hard under Dad’s hands. “Why? Do you hate toads or something?” 

The accusation, absurd as it was, upset Dion more than the kick to the shin. He remembered how he and Raz used to go out and catch toads when they were both younger- had Raz forgotten about that? “I don’t hate toads,” he said, in weak defense of himself. 

A loud, wet sniff. “Liar. If you actually liked toads you wouldn't have let that snake eat one.” 

“Razputin,” Dad began, his exasperation mixed with sympathy. His mouth was set in a grim frown, but Dion noticed that his eyes had softened a little. “You can’t kick your brother because you’re upset.” He lifted a hand up and brought it to hover over Raz’s head. It lingered there, as though unsure of what to do, before setting itself on the side of Raz’s head. “I understand that it isn’t easy to-” 

“No you don’t!” Raz jerked out from under Dad’s hand. “If you understood you wouldn’t be taking his side!”

“I am not taking anyone’s side,” Dad said, fixing his stern stare onto Dion. “You shouldn’t have been so aggressive, Dion. You’re too old to be fighting with your brother like this.” 

A flare of resentment spiked up within Dion. He’d only been trying to do what he thought was best! He hadn’t wanted to get into a fight! Raz had pushed him into it! He swallowed the arguments back, knowing they would do him no good. He couldn’t keep the anger out of his eyes so he cast his gaze away to prevent Dad from seeing it. It fell on Raz, who stood with his fist clenched tight and a scowl on his face. Dirt stained his clothes and smudged the bare skin of his face and arms. A darker scuff on his chin had Dion wincing. Worse than that were the red marks that ringed his wrist like an ugly bracelet. Dion’s anger turned to guilt, sinking within him like a stone in a pond. “I...jeez.” He rubbed the back of his neck. It became difficult to look either of the people before him in the eye. “Yeah, that’s...I shouldn’t have done that. Sorry, Raz.” 

The apology was awkward but genuine. Dad must have sensed that, for he nodded his approval. It did not mean that Dion would escape punishment, but that wasn’t why Dion had made it. An expectant pause followed, where he and Dad awaited Raz’s response. Raz glowered at his feet and said nothing at first. Then he straightened, a defiant look on his face. “I’m not sorry,” he declared. The two fat tears rolling down his cheeks undercut his anger. “I could have helped that toad, I know it! But now it’s too-” A sob interrupted him before he could finish. He swallowed and swiped his hand over his eyes. “You guys are jerks,” he said as he jumped out of Dad’s hold. He dashed off the moment he was free, running away towards the Big Top. 

“Razputin!” Dad barked Raz’s name like an order. His call did nothing to slow Raz down, his back continuing to retreat further and further away. Dad muttered something under his breath and started after him without a single glance back at Dion. 

Dion was left alone on the edge of the forest, abandoned like a lost glove. He wasn’t sure of what to do now- was Dad planning on coming back for him? Or was he supposed to follow? _Dad didn’t say anything to me. He’s too busy with Raz._ He kicked a rock near his foot, flipping it over. _He probably forgot I was here._

He sighed, wanting to resolve the ache of loneliness within him but unsure of how. He concentrated on other aches instead. The shin Raz had kicked throbbed a little, but it didn’t hurt until Dion pressed his fingers to the injured area. It was going to bruise. The marks around Raz’s wrists flashed into his mind, and he wondered if they would bruise too. 

The knees of his pants were covered in dirt. A quick glance at his hands revealed his nails to be in a similar state of griminess. His hair had also come loose from its tie. He hoped the Cotton Candy Girl wouldn’t catch sight of him in this disheveled state. _I shouldn’t have followed Raz out here,_ he thought as he fixed his hair. _I passed up a chance to talk to her for this?_ He ignored the fact that he had gone with Raz to avoid doing that. _I bet her breath smelled really nice._

There was nothing left to do here once his hair was secure. Dion began to make his way back to the circus. He was considering whether or not to seek Dad out when a strange curiosity seized him. He stopped and turned around, giving the tree where all the trouble had a long, hard look. Then he started walking over to it, his gaze searching the twigs, leaves, and roots. 

He found the snake in the same spot it had been before. All that remained of the toad was a single limp limb, sticking out of the snake’s mouth like a tongue. 


	2. Chapter 2

Dion was contemplating the caravan ceiling when Raz came barging in. 

Raz’s entrance had not interrupted any deep thinking on Dion’s part. Dion lay back on the bunk, his eyes tracing the wooden bands that curved across the ceiling. His hands rested on his stomach, fingers interlaced. 

The heat his hands provided did little to warm the cold pit that had formed within his stomach shortly after returning to the circus. This pit was not new to Dion, it had been manifesting inside of him off and on ever since he had turned ten. The pit sucked all of his good feelings down into its depths, leaving Dion with only a sadness that wanted to pull him to the ground. Sometimes the pit would form out of nowhere, but today the reason for its existence was obvious. The fight with his brother, his dad’s disappointment, and yeah, even that stupid toad’s gruesome death- the events of the day stuck to his mind like glue. 

Not even an hour of acrobatic practice could push his unhappiness away. He eventually gave up on attempting to distract himself and came to the caravan to rest. Thoughts diminished but the bad feelings did not; they instead became stronger without anything mentally concrete to connect to. 

In truth, Dion was kind of glad that Raz had come in. His ‘moping’ (as Frazie liked to call it) could go on for hours if there wasn’t anything or anyone to bring him out of it. Still, he was not quite ready to get up. He remained on his back and turned his head towards the entrance. 

Raz was standing before the threshold, the door open behind him. His fists were balled at his sides and his back was ramrod straight. He had a strange expression on his face- his mouth was tight, and his jaw was clenched in the way it got when he was being stubborn. His eyes were nervous, darting to every space in the room except the one that Dion occupied. He rocked on his heels, the sway of someone trying to cope with anxious energy. It looked like he had something he wanted to say, but wasn’t sure how to go about saying it.  _ And here I was thinking he was just going to tell me that dinner was ready,  _ Dion thought.

Whatever Raz had come in here to say remained unsaid for a few minutes. Raz stared at Dion and Dion started back, silence stretching between them like Silly Putty. Dion frowned and rose up onto his elbows. It was not like Raz to hold back like this- if he wanted to say something he usually just said it without hesitation.  _ Is he still mad about the toad?  _ Dion wondered, his shoulders slumping.  _ I don’t want to hear more about that. I feel bad enough already.  _ He focused on Raz’s face, on the spot where his chin had been scuffed earlier. There was no mark there now- the scrap must have only been dirt. A look at his wrist revealed no sign of injury there either.  _ At least I didn’t rough him up too bad.  _ The relief the observation brought him was sucked up by the pit. Shame that he had gotten so aggressive with his own brother took its place. 

The sounds from outside the caravan amplified the quiet within. Dion held his breath, bracing himself for verbal impact. It got harder to take as the seconds passed and the silence wore on his nerves. Right when Dion was about to tell Raz to spit it out, the boy burst out with, “I’m sorry for kicking you!” 

Dion blinked, the breath he’d been holding released by his surprise. He had not expected an apology. “Did Dad make you say that?” he asked without thinking. 

Confusion flashed over Raz’s expression before settling into a pout. “No, he didn’t,” Raz said, offended. “I came here because-” he faltered and looked down at his shoes for a second. “Because kicking people isn’t something a good guy would do,” he finished, his gaze returning to Dion’s and his hands coming to his hips. “Unless you’re kicking a bad guy. Which you’re not.” 

It was hard not to laugh at his brother. His pose evoked thoughts of a comic-book superhero; puffed up with pride at having done the thing he’d set out to do. Moments like this reminded Dion how amusing Raz could be when he wasn’t annoying the hell out of everybody. He hid his snickers behind a smile. “It’s cool, bro,” he said, “no harm done.” He tried to sound nonchalant, but he was actually glad to hear the apology. It was a step towards putting the incident behind them. “I’m sorry about the whole trying to beat you into the dirt thing.” 

He began to lay back down, assuming that Raz would be on his way out now that he’d accomplished his task. “Oh no you don’t!” Raz said. Dion’s descent paused mid-way to the bed. “We’re not through here!” 

Dion rolled his eyes and sat back up. “Alright, but can you at least shut the door before you go off?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s getting cold in here.” 

Raz looked surprised to see the door still open behind him. He reached out his arm, but did not take the door knob in hand. Instead he pointed his finger at it and drew his arm back. The door followed the movement, swinging closed with a long creak.  _ It would have taken less time if you had shut it like a normal person,  _ Dion thought while he watched. The glow of pride on his brother’s face sparked a tiny flame of envy, too small to warm up the pit within him.

He smothered it and moved to sit on the side of the bed. “Get over here,” he said, patting the space next to him. “If you’re going to yell at me, don’t do it from across the room.” 

“I’m not going to yell at you,” Raz said as he headed to the bed. His strides were long and purposeful- sort of like Mom’s when she wanted to go somewhere fast. He plopped down next to Dion with enough force to shake the mattress. “I just wanna say that I still think it was messed up that you wouldn’t let me help the toad.” He frowned up at Dion, his arms crossed over his chest in a more confident imitation of Dion’s pose. Dion thought he was trying to look stern and disapproving; like Dad when he saw something he didn’t like. He looked more like a petulant child who hadn’t gotten his way. “What was up with that?”

Dion sighed. He didn’t have the energy to deal with another argument, but he wasn’t sure how to avoid it. “I didn’t do it to be mean,” he said, “or because I hate toads.” He stared at the floor as if it had the best way to explain his actions written on the boards. “I just…” He raked a hand through his hair. “I thought it was too late for the toad, and I didn’t want you to see it suffer any more.” 

To his shock, Raz appeared to accept this, albeit without any enthusiasm. “That’s what Dad said too,” he said, his expression switching from serious to glum. His shoulders slumped and his head hung low. All of his self-righteous fury blew out of him like air from a balloon. “It’s not fair,” he mumbled, tucking his knees up into his chest.

Dion shrugged. “I wouldn’t say that it’s unfair. What about the snake?” 

Raz wrapped his arms around his legs and put his chin on his knee. “What about the snake?” 

“He’s gotta eat too,” Dion said. “He didn’t eat that toad because he’s evil or likes causing pain. He ate it because he was hungry.” He furrowed his brows as he figured out the best way to make his point. “Let’s say that you did rescue that toad. What happens to the snake?” 

“He, um…” Raz pursed his lips as he thought. “He loses his lunch?” 

“Right,” Dion said, nodding. “And now he has to find another meal so he can survive another day. For all we know that snake could have been on the verge of starvation. If you had taken his lunch, he might not have been able to find another one. He could have ended up dead.” 

“Huh.” Raz’s eyes widened with realization. “I guess that would have made me the bad guy, huh?” 

“To the snake, yeah,” Dion said, patting Raz on the back. “It’s all a matter of perspective.” 

Raz tapped his fingers on his knees as he mulled Dion’s words over. “Okay, you have a good point there,” he said once he came to a conclusion of sorts. “But...did the snake have to be so mean about it?” 

“Mean?” Dion raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, mean. Why’d he have to draw it out for so long?” Raz’s eyes began to shine in a way that preceded tears. “I heard that toad screaming,” he said as he swiped a hand over his eyes. “He was so scared, and he was trying so hard to get away.” He swallowed when his voice began to tighten. “But he couldn’t, because he was being squeezed too tight to move.” 

Dion’s heart clenched. Seeing the toad struggle to escape the snake’s jaws had been enough to turn Dion’s stomach. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have it’s cries ringing in his head at the same time. It was no wonder Raz had reacted the way that he had. There was, Dion realized in that moment, something heroic in Raz’s actions, even if they had been doomed to end in failure. He tried to picture himself in Raz’s place and couldn’t. He knew that he would have slunk off to mope about the toad’s tragic fate, rather than try to make the situation better. 

He wanted to say something that would make Raz feel better. All that came to mind were platitudes so useless that they were better left unsaid. Still, it felt wrong to remain silent. “That snake can’t help the way it's built, Raz,” Dion said to fill the air between them. “I’m sure if it had a way to eat faster, it would.” He gave Raz’s shoulder a gentle push. “Wouldn’t it suck having to swallow your food whole because you can’t chew?”

“I guess it would,” Raz answered. He untucked one knee and extended the leg, his heel touching the floor. “We’d have to spend an hour at the table every time we had a meal.” Raz wrinkled his nose- he hated having to sit down to eat. “I’ve got better things to do than sit around swallowing a potato whole.” 

  
Dion laughed. “It definitely wouldn’t make me like brussel sprouts more.” 

“But why can’t the snake chew its food?” Raz asked, tilting his head to the side. “It has teeth. I saw its fangs.” 

There was something in the way Raz looked at him- like he thought his big brother had all the answers- that made Dion want to give him the best possible response. “Well, fangs are sharp,” Don said, tapping his canines with his finger, “way sharper than our teeth. If he had tried to chew that toad, he might have bitten through his own tongue.” He thought for a moment, then added, “plus fangs are really skinny. They might have broken if he tried to grind the toad’s bones up or something.” He shrugged, having reached the limits of his knowledge of snake anatomy. 

Raz’s eyes widened with awe. “Wow, Dion, you know a lot of stuff about snakes.” 

Dion nodded, proud that he had impressed his brother with his expertise. He felt no need to mention that his ‘knowledge’ had been guesswork on his part. It encouraged him to speculate further on the natural world. “Snakes are animals, and animals don’t do things just to be cruel. They only want to live.” He scratched his chin, divulging a line of thought that he’d been dwelling on lately. “They’re not like humans, who bully each other for their own sick amusement. That makes them better than us.” 

“I don’t know about that,” Raz said, skepticism raising his eyebrows. “Some animals can be mean like people. Remember that park in...I don’t remember what town it was, but there was this jungle-gym near a lake.” At Dion’s blank look, he added, “I think it was in Virginia.” 

“Oh yeah, I know what you’re talking about,” Dion said, nodding. “It was the one with all those geese.” His face fell as several images from his nightmares flashed before his eyes. “Oh God. Those geese.” 

“Yeah, those jerks! They kept chasing us around, trying to steal the popcorn we’d just bought.” Raz brought a hand to his mouth and started giggling behind it. “Remember that big grey one that kept going after Mirtala?” 

Dion laughed. “Yeah, it kept trying to eat her hair. I think it thought she was a pretzel.” 

“That’s because she’s got a pretzel-head,” Raz said.

“One pecked me,” Dion said, rolling up his shirt sleeve. The scar was long gone, but Dion could still remember where the goose’s sharp beak had nipped him. “Here,” he said, pointing to a spot below his elbow. “It pecked me so hard that I started bleeding.” 

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Raz exclaimed. “That goose was made of hate! I overheard its thoughts and man, it was so full of rage that it gave me a headache!” 

“Hm.” Dion did recall Raz looking pale after the encounter. “Do you always hear thoughts like that?” 

Raz shrugged. “Not all the time. But sometimes I’ll hear what I think is a voice, but it’s actually a thought.”   
  


“Oh. That sucks,” Dion said. He gave Raz’s shoulders a reassuring squeeze. 

Raz jerked his shoulder away. “Why do you think that it sucks?” he asked, frowning. Hurt haunted the edges of his eyes. 

“Well, doesn’t it?” Dion said, confused by his brother’s reaction. “I mean...earlier today, with the, you know…” His tongue stumbled over his words as Raz’s frown deepened. “I didn’t mean anything by it!” he said, putting his hands up defensively. “It just seemed like it was hard for you today!” 

“Oh!” Relief washed the unhappy expression off of Raz’s face. “That was rough. But it’s not always like that!” A grin brightened his face. “I hear all kinds of cool stuff!” 

“Like what?” Dion asked, curious. 

“I know that Dusty sells counterfeit leather jackets on the side,” Raz said, picking at the collar of his tank-top. “I know this because I heard him thinking about his next pick-up location.” 

“Really?” Dion didn’t know much about the quiet ticket-seller, and he found this bit of information very interesting. “Are the jackets he sells like the one he always wears?” 

“I think so,” Raz replied. 

“Huh.” Dion would have to see about getting one of those fake jackets for himself. “What else do you know?” 

Raz was eager to divulge all he had ‘overheard.’ “Laughin’ Louie used to teach physics at Michigan State, but he quit four years ago to become a clown.” 

“Why did he want to do that?” Dion asked.

“Oh, um, I don’t know,” Raz said, scratching the back of his neck. “I only know this because he thought he saw one of his old students. But I’ll let you know when I find out.” His smile turned sly, a mischievous glint appearing in his eyes. “There’s one more interesting thing I know.” 

That smile did not bode well for Dion. “What is it?” he asked, wary.

“I know that someone,” Raz said in a sing-song tone, “has a big crush on Genie!” 

Dion blinked at him. “Who’s Genie?” 

The grin slid right off of Raz’s face. “Are you for real?” he asked, searching Dion’s face to check for signs of deception. “You seriously don’t know her name?” he asked after confirming that Dion’s ignorance wasn’t feigned. 

“Know whose name?” Dion asked, growing frustrated. 

“The girl who works at the cotton candy stand!” Raz exclaimed, rolling his eyes in exasperation. “You know, the girl you’re madly in love with? The one you haven’t stopped thinking about since she started working here?” 

Heat exploded in Dion’s face. “I-you-what?” He stammered out half-words, unable to talk with the mix of panic and embarrassment clouding his mind. “Oh my God,” he groaned, covering his face with his hands. “I didn’t know you were reading my mind.” He spread his fingers, peeking at Raz from the spaces between them. “You’re not going to tell her, are you?” 

“No way!” Raz said, shaking his head. “It’s way funnier to watch you get all gooey-eyed around her.” 

“I do not get gooey-eyed,” Dion said, returning his hands to his lap. 

“And for your information,” Raz continued as though Dion had not spoken, “I didn’t have to read your mind. When you think about Genie, you are…” He paused for dramatic effect. “...super loud.” 

A moan of pure despair emerged from Dion’s throat. “So if you know, does that mean every psychic around here knows?”

“Maybe,” was Raz’s unhelpful answer. 

The blood drained from Dion’s face. “Does Dad know?” he asked, horrified by the mere idea. 

Raz shrugged. “How should I know? You’d have to ask him.” 

“Don’t you talk to him about this psychic stuff?” 

“Pfft, no.” Raz hopped off the bed and began walking across the room. “You’re the one he likes to talk to.” He pivoted on his heel before Dion could process the comment. “You know,” Raz said, mischief returning to his face, “she asked me what your name was the other day.” 

Dion’s mouth dropped open. “She did?” 

“Yep,” Raz replied.

This was Big News if true. Dion hadn’t even believed that she was aware of his existence. “What’d you tell her?” he asked, desperate to know more. 

“Hm…” Raz tapped his chin, looking up and to the right as though trying to recall something. “She said...you gotta catch me if you want to find out!” 

“Hey!” Dion shouted as Raz ran out the door, laughing his head off. “C’mon Raz, don’t do this to me!” 

Raz was leaning against the confection stand when Dion finally caught up with him. On the other side of the counter stood the Cotton- no, her name was Genie. Dion’s mind marveled at the new familiarity he had with her. As he was running up, she lifted her hand in greeting. “Hey, Dion,” she said, waving. “How’s it going?” 

Dion’s feet and heart stopped at the same time.  _ Oh my God,  _ Dion thought, feeling lighter than air,  _ she knows my name.  _

_ I heard that,  _ came Raz’s voice, barging right into his head. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was loosely based on an experience I had a few years back, while walking on a park trail with my sister and some friends. I ended up getting ahead of them somehow and I stumbled upon the exact scene that featured prominently in this story- a small snake eating a toad whole. This startled me quite a bit, and for some reason I was convinced that this was a toad with a deformity. I rushed back and found my sister and told her to come see it. When she got there she was immediately like "oh ew a snake eating a toad." Which made more sense than what I thought.  
> I was in my late twenties when this happened. -__-
> 
> We didn't stick around to see the toad get eaten, and I don't really know too much about how snakes consume their prey. If it's inaccurate here, well...I don't really care. It's not like snakes can call me out on twitter.


End file.
